six/seven weeks.

Here are some more pictures of Hannah at about 6-7 weeks.  My sweet girl just keeps more sweet rolls every day!  look at those cheeks!

Precious...

About a week or so ago, Hannah started growing out of all her newborn clothing...it's so sad!  I just had to let her wear our favorite outfit one last time.   She's obviously upset about growing out of it too!  :)

She loves to cuddle with her daddy...and Daddy just can't help it...he falls asleep every time too!

Our cute little ballerina. Look at that face!

More pictures from Christmas coming soon...

christmas card 2009.

 (Christmas Card designed by Ashley Malena Photography)

night owl.

Hannah is actually a pretty great sleeper at night (watch out the last time I said that she woke every 2 hours through the night crying for MORE fooood!)  But really, she only wakes every 4 hours or so to eat, which is nice since I have to hold her upright for about 30 minutes after she eats every time!  Every once in a while though, she decides she doesn't want to go back to sleep. :)

40 weeks.

At this time 5 weeks ago I had just found out that I was dilated to 6 cm...

My oh my!  I was HUGE!

-----

It was about 6:30 PM and I was making Pot Stickers.  Connel was on his way home from work.  I started feeling some cramps in my lower abdomen.  I was getting frustrated because the fried rice that I was trying to make was not working out and I couldn't find all the ingredients and so I made Connel go get some from take-out when he got home.  We enjoyed our Pot Stickers and during dinner I said to Connel "I'm feeling a little bit crampy." to which he replied, "Oh yeah?"

We finished dinner and then proceeded to the couch to watch the last episode of Lost Season 4.  My cramps were starting to really bother me so I decided to keep track of them and half-heartedly watched the clock while the computer screen flickered and the cast of Lost became lost in time.  4 contractions in a hour and I'm supposed to call the doctor...  Mine were about 18 minutes apart each.  That made 3 in an hour. or I guess 4..."Um, Connel, I think we might need to call the doctor.  These cramps are evenly spaced out."

We decided to finish the episode and then see what was happening with the cramps, if they didn't stop or slow down, then we would call the doctor.  I drank tons of water and layed down on my left side to watch John Locke continue to try and save the Island.

As the show ended we realized that my cramps were closer together and coming about 8-9 minutes apart.  I went into the bedroom and laid down on the bed.  I felt like I had to go pee (for the 4th time in about 30 minutes).  When I went into the bathroom I noticed that I had some blood and so I immediately started sobbing and screamed to Connel that we needed to call the doctor right now!

I called the doctor and he told me to drink a lot of water and lay down and see if they go away.  He told me that if they get about 5 minutes apart to come to the hospital.  He said, "Even if this baby comes tomorrow, it will still be okay."  Easy for HIM to say!  So, Connel gave me a blessing and then he proceeded to pack our things and write down the time of every contraction.  9 minutes. 8 minutes. 5 minutes. 9 minutes. 5 minutes. 11 minutes. 7 minutes.  They were so sporadic but some were 5 minutes apart.

Connel declared "511!" (5 minutes apart, one minute long, for one hour...even though the contractions were so sporatic!) and we decided it was time to head to the hospital.  I cried, Connel threw everything into the 4-runner and we headed out.  It was about midnight.

We arrived at the hospital and the guy at the emergency door said, "I can guess why your here!" and he sat me in a wheelchair and let me use the "stork-line" phone to call the birthing center desk.  They told us to come on up.  When we got up to the birthing center, they sent us to the high-risk area to be monitored.  As we settled in, they hooked me up to the NST stuff and started to monitor contractions, they were slowing down a bit (to about 12 minutes apart) and I was thinking, "Great, they are going to think I am some crazy paranoid pregnant lady in false labor."  But, the doctor on call told them to check my cervix.  (OK PEOPLE...NOBODY TOLD ME THAT HURTS!!!)  Anyway...the nurse said, "I think you are at a 6 but I'm going to get a second opinion."  The second opinion was that I was indeed dilated to 6 CM!

"Your going to have a baby tonight!"

The first thing I thought was...

Oh no...I can't have an epidural!

I had taken my Lovenox injection at 5:30 PM, and I had learned that I have to wait 12-24 hours before getting an epidural to reduce the risk of bleeding.  I was supposed to start on Heparin the next week, where there would not have that long of a wait for an epidural.  Blah!  I started crying.

Then I realized that I was going to have a baby and I started crying even harder!

They placed my IV and wheeled me over to the birthing center.  We met my wonderful nurse, (who was there with Connel and I almost every step of the way.  She was amazing!)  At about 3 PM I was only dilated to a 7 and the contractions were getting really strong, they asked if I wanted something to take the edge off, and I said YES!  So they put some Nubain in my IV.  It was so trippy!  I could feel that I was having a contraction, but then I couldn't feel the pain.  Or maybe I could feel the pain, but it didn't hurt?  It was crazy...I felt like I was asleep, but I was really awake and I knew it.  I guess I was really out of it for a while.  I have never been on pain meds that make you trip out so it was a new experience for me and kind of funny!  Anyway, it was nice NOT to have the pain, or at least not to feel like I was in pain.

For some lucky miracle, at about 6 AM they told me that it had been long enough after the Lovenox for me to get an epidural!  I was at 8 cm so I told them "do it!"  So at about 7:30 AM the anesthesiologist came in and I got the epidural.  I had a contraction halfway through getting it and so I felt the contraction pain (by this time the Nubain had wore off) more than the epidural pain (everyone told me it hurts.)  By this time it was about 8:00 AM and I was a happy camper, but still really, really tired.  I didn't get to rest much though because in an hour I went from 8 cm to 10 cm. 

Did I tell you my water didn't break until 10 cm? and then my doctor had to break it.  That was interesting... :I  Then it was time to push.  The doctor was funny, he kept saying "ok, our goal is to have this baby out by 9:45." and so on.  He was great and kept calm and was very assuring throughout the whole time.

We pushed for about an hour and Finally, at 10:01 AM our tiny 5 lb 6 oz girl was born!  We didn't get any pictures of her in the delivery room, because it was kind of nerve racking and we were so wrapped up with everything that was happening. But guess what?  I don't care.  I got to hold her for about a minute on my belly and kiss her little head and cheeks and that I will remember FOREVER!  

Connel said that when he went over to the heating lamp where she was, he said her name and she turned her head to look at him and got a little smile. Aw! :)

They then said she had respiratory distress and they rushed her to the NICU and swept her away.  It all happened so fast!  I had to wait in the delivery room for an hour and a half to go see her, it was so long and I just wanted to go see my baby and make sure she was okay!

It was so disheartening to see my little baby in the isolette all by herself with all kinds of wires attached!  We couldn't hold her yet, but we could touch her and talk to her.  It was hard for me to leave her there and go back to our room without having held her close in my arms yet!  I just wanted to cuddle my baby girl! :(

However, we came back later that night and were able to hold her and feed her and sing to her.  She was still in the isolette before we got to hold her.  She was facing the opposite side that we were on and It was the most touching thing to start singing "Whenever I hear the song of a bird" and have her totally turn to head to look right at me!  Connel and I both started sobbing!

It was really hard to see her in the NICU.  I wanted to be with her 24/7 but had to rest and so we had to leave her.  That I hated!

The worst part was leaving the hospital without a baby!  Knowing that I was the one supposed to be taking care of her, but had to leave her with the nurses and trust them totally.  To know that most Mom's get to bring their baby home in the car seat they brought and check on their baby every 10 minutes the first night home, but I had to look at the empty car seat when I got in the car and call the NICU nurse to get an update on how she was doing, to me that was really hard.  I cried a lot!

However, we didn't have to do it alone.  We had soooo much help from people in our ward, bringing dinners, phone calls, rides to the hospital, baby showers, etc.  We are ever so blessed to be here.  We have awesome visiting and home teachers and friends.  We love you all and cannot thank you enough!  We are also blessed to have the doctors and be at the hospital we were!

We are so glad to have our little Hannah Mae home with us and so healthy and strong, even though she came early and unexpectedly, she came at the right time and we are so so glad she is here!

Ashley Malena Photography

Happy Due Date baby girl!

for fun.

Here are some more pictures, just for fun...

Sleepy head.

Playtime!

Making faces at Mom in her sleep!

Hated her first real bath!

Same size at bear at One Month Old!

One Month Old!

Stop taking pictures Mom!

Back to where we started...Sweet Dreams!

pot stickers.

Friday night, to celebrate Hannah's one month "birth" day, Connel made yummy Pot Stickers (frozen from Costco--soo good!).

It was not until he started making them that I realized this is the meal I made the night I went into labor!

So yummy!

 

one month.

Dear Hannah Mae,

We can't believe it's been a month!  You are growing so big already!  We love holding you and cuddling you all the time.  Here are some of the things that you are doing right now...

• Starting to lift your head up.
• Starting to turn your head towards sounds.
• Starting to follow our faces and voices.
• Getting more vocal everyday (crying louder, crying out if you need something, and making more sounds while we play with you or change your diaper.)
• You make the cutest faces when you are falling asleep; they include pouty faces with whimper sounds, happy faces with sometimes cute little giggles, you also stick your tongue out and smack your lips which makes us think you must be dreaming about eating.  This is mom's favorite part of putting you to sleep.
  

Things you love:

• Milk.
• Cuddling on Mommy's chest.
  
• You like when your Daddy comes home to hold you, if you are half asleep and hear his voice you are suddenly wide awake, but then you always fall asleep once you've been cuddled up in his arms.
• Mommy and Daddy like to sing or hum primary songs to you when it's bedtime, you seem to relax and fall asleep so nicely.
• When someone lightly massages your head or strokes your hair, you relax and get so sleepy.
• Zantac (medicine for acid reflux!  Okay so maybe Mom loves it more, but it's a life and sanity saver).
  

Things you don't love:

• Getting your diaper changed (cold wet wipes).
• Taking your vitamins.
• Taking a bath.
• Acid reflux.

I am starting to get the hang of being your mommy, which pretty much consists of nursing and sleeping at this point in time. :)  We are not on a schedule yet which is kind of weird for Mommy as she is used to having somewhat of a schedule but we are not in a hurry to get on one.  Plus, although Mommy would love to have more sleep at night, we are still jumping out of bed at every little cry and whimper! 

The doctor prescribed Zantac for the acid reflux and you are starting to feel and act better already.  Mom is so glad, because it made her so sad when you were in so much pain!
Of course time is going by way to fast, before we know it you will be way to big and cuddle time will be replaced with chasing you around the house!  We love your sweet little spirit in our home and are having so much fun getting to know your cute little personality.  I wonder how we got by without the love that you fill our home with!  I tell you all the time, but I'll say it again.  We love you Hannah Mae!

Love, your Mommy

acid reflux.

Hannah is 7 lbs 1 oz!

She gained 1 lb 3 oz in just a couple weeks, which is right on target.  The nurses in the NICU said that she probably would have been more than 8 lbs if she went to her due date, maybe she'll still make her weight! :)

I thought she had a little nasal congestion so I took her to the doctor to make sure she wasn't getting sick.  She actually has the congestion from reflux!  Blah, my poor little baby!  She grunts and groans and squirms and arches her back after almost every feeding,  She also sometimes cries out in her sleep!  I am trying everything but she's still so uncomfortable...any suggestions?

We just love this little girl in our home, she has the sweetest disposition and really hardly ever fusses, except for when she's hungry or getting her diaper changed.  Being a Mommy is well, I'll admit, harder than I thought...with nursing and lack of sleep and worrying about if she's breathing and wanting to take every bit of reflux pain away from her...However, the joy that comes from being parents far outweighs the hardships and I have never ever felt this much love!  In Elder Uchtdorf's conference talk he talked about Heavenly Father's love for us, he said, "Think of the purest, most all-consuming love you can imagine. Now multiply that love by an infinite amount—that is the measure of God’s love for you."  I think I can honestly say that the love I have for our Hannah is the "purest all-consuming love" that I can imagine.

We love you Hannah!

thanksgiving 2009.

adorable.

Wanna see some adorable pictures?

These were taken by a friend of ours, Click the link to view her website... Ashley Malena Photography.

coming home.

Coming Home... (I was feeling fine in this picture but it's hospital policy to have the mom in a wheelchair holding the cart seat on her lap...I was just glad to actually have this specific 'rite of passage'.)

The Chauffer...

 

Just so tiny!

 

Ready to come home!

 

Our Beautiful Girl!

 

Cutie...

 

After a bath.  Her hair is so fuzzy!  I love it!

 

Clean toes!

 

We were having to feed our baby girl formula to supplement.  But since she came home, she gained 10 oz in one week, so no more supplementing!  Here is Daddy giving her one of her nightly feedings.  Daddy loves to cuddle with his little girl!

 

Ready to go on a short car ride where we were hoping to get out of the house for a few minutes and go on a drive... but then realized that we forgot the diaper bag, and had to come home!

 

We are loving every minute with our little sweet Hannah!   I hope to update the blog more but I can't make any promises, this girl keeps us pretty busy!

hooray!

Hannah's coming home today!

Yesterday, Hannah was put in a regular hospital bassinet for 24 hours to see if she was able to maintain her temperature, weight, and regular feedings.  They told us that if she did these things for 24 hours, she would get to come home!  Today, we found out that she also passed her 45 minute car seat test and she gets to come home tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are super excited as we thought she would still be in the NICU for at least another week.  We are also a little nervous as having her in the NICU has made us super cautious and paranoid.  No more monitors is a relief, but also makes us a little nervous as there will be nothing to "BEEP" at us if something goes wrong.  We were joking that we would just take shifts all night watching her breathe.  (which is probably a bit too true)

I was feeling extra overwhelmed last night, but thanks to a blessing and lots of prayer I feel that our Hannah will be okay and that we can be confident that she will continue to be a healthy baby girl.

Here are some photos for my picture hungry family members. ;)

fake-baker.

Tonight at 8 PM the bili-lights come off!  They will check her jaundice levels again in the morning to see if her levels keep going down to a healthy level.  To celebrate, we are bringing a blanket from home to cover the top of her isolette and make her feel more "at-home".

We decided that she looks like she is laying in a little tanning bed...She's thinks she's cool with her futuristic sunglasses on. :)

We have only been able to hold her for feedings, which usually means not for more than 30-45 minutes at a time and normally she is nursing, so Daddy hasn't gotten that much snuggle time with his little girl and he is starting to try and sneak little bits of snuggle time here and there after she is done nursing with me, until the nurse comes and has to be the bad guy and tell Daddy "it's time to put her back, so she can get better."

So needless to say, we are both super-excited to have the lights come off.

We love you Hannah and can't wait to snuggle with you!

beautiful.

((HUGE HEAVING SIGH))

 I don't apologize for my lack of blogging.  :)

Here is a short update on how our little Hannah Mae is doing...

We left the hospital on Friday night, however, Hannah still needs to stay in the NICU.  She is breathing well, and beginning to breastfeed well.  She has a feeding tube, which was taken out today, but still needs to get more food down, so she may have to have it put back in.  It is hard for her right now, because she has jaundice and grows very tired after eating for more than 30 minutes or so.  She is under the bili-lights and wearing her little "sunglasses", hopefully it will help her get rid of all the yuckies in her system and she will be able to get stronger and gain more weight, eat better and eventually be able to come home.  It should still be a few weeks, but she is working really hard and making Mommy and Daddy very proud will all her little successes.  We love to hold her and cuddle and kiss her little tiny cheeks.  She is a wiggly little thing, but when she is being held she cuddles right up to our chest.  We just love to nuzzle our sweet girl.

We just ask that you keep her (and us) in your prayers as even though she is doing very well for being born early, she is still a preemie and needs lots of attention and monitoring.  Mommy worries about her so much and hates to leave her when we go home at night, but we know that she is in good hands.  Every little prayer helps and lets us feel more at peace about Hannah's situation.  We love her so much and can't wait to take her home and to be with her at all times.

I promise to share the whole story (excluding gory details) about the when, hows, whys, etc of Hannah coming early, but for right now, I am really tired, and need to get some sleep so I can recover fully and take good care of our little sweetie.  

In the meantime, here are a few pictures of our "sunshine", as Connel calls her. :)

  First family photo

Sticking out her tongue

My beautiful girl

Proud Papa

 Listening to Mommy sing.