40 weeks.

At this time 5 weeks ago I had just found out that I was dilated to 6 cm...

My oh my!  I was HUGE!

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It was about 6:30 PM and I was making Pot Stickers.  Connel was on his way home from work.  I started feeling some cramps in my lower abdomen.  I was getting frustrated because the fried rice that I was trying to make was not working out and I couldn't find all the ingredients and so I made Connel go get some from take-out when he got home.  We enjoyed our Pot Stickers and during dinner I said to Connel "I'm feeling a little bit crampy." to which he replied, "Oh yeah?"

We finished dinner and then proceeded to the couch to watch the last episode of Lost Season 4.  My cramps were starting to really bother me so I decided to keep track of them and half-heartedly watched the clock while the computer screen flickered and the cast of Lost became lost in time.  4 contractions in a hour and I'm supposed to call the doctor...  Mine were about 18 minutes apart each.  That made 3 in an hour. or I guess 4..."Um, Connel, I think we might need to call the doctor.  These cramps are evenly spaced out."

We decided to finish the episode and then see what was happening with the cramps, if they didn't stop or slow down, then we would call the doctor.  I drank tons of water and layed down on my left side to watch John Locke continue to try and save the Island.

As the show ended we realized that my cramps were closer together and coming about 8-9 minutes apart.  I went into the bedroom and laid down on the bed.  I felt like I had to go pee (for the 4th time in about 30 minutes).  When I went into the bathroom I noticed that I had some blood and so I immediately started sobbing and screamed to Connel that we needed to call the doctor right now!

I called the doctor and he told me to drink a lot of water and lay down and see if they go away.  He told me that if they get about 5 minutes apart to come to the hospital.  He said, "Even if this baby comes tomorrow, it will still be okay."  Easy for HIM to say!  So, Connel gave me a blessing and then he proceeded to pack our things and write down the time of every contraction.  9 minutes. 8 minutes. 5 minutes. 9 minutes. 5 minutes. 11 minutes. 7 minutes.  They were so sporadic but some were 5 minutes apart.

Connel declared "511!" (5 minutes apart, one minute long, for one hour...even though the contractions were so sporatic!) and we decided it was time to head to the hospital.  I cried, Connel threw everything into the 4-runner and we headed out.  It was about midnight.

We arrived at the hospital and the guy at the emergency door said, "I can guess why your here!" and he sat me in a wheelchair and let me use the "stork-line" phone to call the birthing center desk.  They told us to come on up.  When we got up to the birthing center, they sent us to the high-risk area to be monitored.  As we settled in, they hooked me up to the NST stuff and started to monitor contractions, they were slowing down a bit (to about 12 minutes apart) and I was thinking, "Great, they are going to think I am some crazy paranoid pregnant lady in false labor."  But, the doctor on call told them to check my cervix.  (OK PEOPLE...NOBODY TOLD ME THAT HURTS!!!)  Anyway...the nurse said, "I think you are at a 6 but I'm going to get a second opinion."  The second opinion was that I was indeed dilated to 6 CM!

"Your going to have a baby tonight!"

The first thing I thought was...

Oh no...I can't have an epidural!

I had taken my Lovenox injection at 5:30 PM, and I had learned that I have to wait 12-24 hours before getting an epidural to reduce the risk of bleeding.  I was supposed to start on Heparin the next week, where there would not have that long of a wait for an epidural.  Blah!  I started crying.

Then I realized that I was going to have a baby and I started crying even harder!

They placed my IV and wheeled me over to the birthing center.  We met my wonderful nurse, (who was there with Connel and I almost every step of the way.  She was amazing!)  At about 3 PM I was only dilated to a 7 and the contractions were getting really strong, they asked if I wanted something to take the edge off, and I said YES!  So they put some Nubain in my IV.  It was so trippy!  I could feel that I was having a contraction, but then I couldn't feel the pain.  Or maybe I could feel the pain, but it didn't hurt?  It was crazy...I felt like I was asleep, but I was really awake and I knew it.  I guess I was really out of it for a while.  I have never been on pain meds that make you trip out so it was a new experience for me and kind of funny!  Anyway, it was nice NOT to have the pain, or at least not to feel like I was in pain.

For some lucky miracle, at about 6 AM they told me that it had been long enough after the Lovenox for me to get an epidural!  I was at 8 cm so I told them "do it!"  So at about 7:30 AM the anesthesiologist came in and I got the epidural.  I had a contraction halfway through getting it and so I felt the contraction pain (by this time the Nubain had wore off) more than the epidural pain (everyone told me it hurts.)  By this time it was about 8:00 AM and I was a happy camper, but still really, really tired.  I didn't get to rest much though because in an hour I went from 8 cm to 10 cm. 

Did I tell you my water didn't break until 10 cm? and then my doctor had to break it.  That was interesting... :I  Then it was time to push.  The doctor was funny, he kept saying "ok, our goal is to have this baby out by 9:45." and so on.  He was great and kept calm and was very assuring throughout the whole time.

We pushed for about an hour and Finally, at 10:01 AM our tiny 5 lb 6 oz girl was born!  We didn't get any pictures of her in the delivery room, because it was kind of nerve racking and we were so wrapped up with everything that was happening. But guess what?  I don't care.  I got to hold her for about a minute on my belly and kiss her little head and cheeks and that I will remember FOREVER!  

Connel said that when he went over to the heating lamp where she was, he said her name and she turned her head to look at him and got a little smile. Aw! :)

They then said she had respiratory distress and they rushed her to the NICU and swept her away.  It all happened so fast!  I had to wait in the delivery room for an hour and a half to go see her, it was so long and I just wanted to go see my baby and make sure she was okay!

It was so disheartening to see my little baby in the isolette all by herself with all kinds of wires attached!  We couldn't hold her yet, but we could touch her and talk to her.  It was hard for me to leave her there and go back to our room without having held her close in my arms yet!  I just wanted to cuddle my baby girl! :(

However, we came back later that night and were able to hold her and feed her and sing to her.  She was still in the isolette before we got to hold her.  She was facing the opposite side that we were on and It was the most touching thing to start singing "Whenever I hear the song of a bird" and have her totally turn to head to look right at me!  Connel and I both started sobbing!

It was really hard to see her in the NICU.  I wanted to be with her 24/7 but had to rest and so we had to leave her.  That I hated!

The worst part was leaving the hospital without a baby!  Knowing that I was the one supposed to be taking care of her, but had to leave her with the nurses and trust them totally.  To know that most Mom's get to bring their baby home in the car seat they brought and check on their baby every 10 minutes the first night home, but I had to look at the empty car seat when I got in the car and call the NICU nurse to get an update on how she was doing, to me that was really hard.  I cried a lot!

However, we didn't have to do it alone.  We had soooo much help from people in our ward, bringing dinners, phone calls, rides to the hospital, baby showers, etc.  We are ever so blessed to be here.  We have awesome visiting and home teachers and friends.  We love you all and cannot thank you enough!  We are also blessed to have the doctors and be at the hospital we were!

We are so glad to have our little Hannah Mae home with us and so healthy and strong, even though she came early and unexpectedly, she came at the right time and we are so so glad she is here!

Ashley Malena Photography

Happy Due Date baby girl!