Yesterday, we went to the doctor. Remember the 1st time we went to hear the baby's heartbeat and the doctor couldn't find it? Yeah, similar situation this time.
This sounds totally crazy, but my worst fear across the last 3 weeks has been that for some reason my baby's heart stopped and it had just been sitting in there, until we discovered it or something. I know, it's totally unreasonable, but that has been my mind's recent workings for a worst case scenario. I had a restless sleep on Monday night thinking and worrying, really, I need to give myself a break...I know. I have had a few confirmations that I just need to have faith and hope and rely on the the Lord, but for some reason the doubts seemed to flood my mind endlessly! I read an article by President Faust on hope, and it gave me some peace. I thought about the blessing that I had received a month or so ago, it gave me some hope.
Because my doctor could not find the heartbeat with the sound doppler when I was laying down (but did hear the placenta again, and my pulse), she had me turn to the side to find it, she had me turn to the other side...I was getting really worrisome at this point and she said, "Oh baby is moving around in there, just being really independent!" Connel said, "I'm not worried at all." Why was I so worried then?!?! So she once again pulled in the ancient ultrasound machine that they use for this type of situation and placed the doppler on my tummy...
...immediately I saw the spine, the head, and then a hiccup!
That's when my fears started subsiding.
Awhile ago, when a friend was pregnant, she let me feel her tummy when her baby inside had the hiccups, it was the cutest thing in the world! I was amazed that a baby in the womb could actually have the hiccups! I have always longed for the experience of knowing that little personality that a baby has even in the mother's womb. It was too precious to see a little hand move up by his/her face! Baby even moved it's head to the side for us to see a very distorted (because of the old machine), but very cute glimpse of the face! Baby just kept moving around, being so active!
Then...finally, we saw the heart...beating away triumphantly!
Even though, we didn't hear it, we got to see our tiny little baby, heartbeat and all, moving and squirming and hiccuping and I felt so blessed! I felt that Heavenly Father had given me a situation in which he meant to portray to me, "I know what your worries are...Let me show you that there is no need for them, you can rely on me."
P.S. Now you are all probably wondering if we got to see the gender. Nope, not yet, but we will in 3 weeks... If baby is not being to independent! :)
P.S.S. I almost forgot one thing...I have gained 10 lbs in 3 weeks! Yikes...the nurse said I might want to cut it down on the sweets, however, that didn't stop me from eating 8 oreos last night. For some reason I can't find them today...I think Connel decided to hide them. I guess, I can't blame him, he doesn't want our child addicted to sweets!...I don't mind.
This sounds totally crazy, but my worst fear across the last 3 weeks has been that for some reason my baby's heart stopped and it had just been sitting in there, until we discovered it or something. I know, it's totally unreasonable, but that has been my mind's recent workings for a worst case scenario. I had a restless sleep on Monday night thinking and worrying, really, I need to give myself a break...I know. I have had a few confirmations that I just need to have faith and hope and rely on the the Lord, but for some reason the doubts seemed to flood my mind endlessly! I read an article by President Faust on hope, and it gave me some peace. I thought about the blessing that I had received a month or so ago, it gave me some hope.
Because my doctor could not find the heartbeat with the sound doppler when I was laying down (but did hear the placenta again, and my pulse), she had me turn to the side to find it, she had me turn to the other side...I was getting really worrisome at this point and she said, "Oh baby is moving around in there, just being really independent!" Connel said, "I'm not worried at all." Why was I so worried then?!?! So she once again pulled in the ancient ultrasound machine that they use for this type of situation and placed the doppler on my tummy...
...immediately I saw the spine, the head, and then a hiccup!
That's when my fears started subsiding.
Awhile ago, when a friend was pregnant, she let me feel her tummy when her baby inside had the hiccups, it was the cutest thing in the world! I was amazed that a baby in the womb could actually have the hiccups! I have always longed for the experience of knowing that little personality that a baby has even in the mother's womb. It was too precious to see a little hand move up by his/her face! Baby even moved it's head to the side for us to see a very distorted (because of the old machine), but very cute glimpse of the face! Baby just kept moving around, being so active!
Then...finally, we saw the heart...beating away triumphantly!
Even though, we didn't hear it, we got to see our tiny little baby, heartbeat and all, moving and squirming and hiccuping and I felt so blessed! I felt that Heavenly Father had given me a situation in which he meant to portray to me, "I know what your worries are...Let me show you that there is no need for them, you can rely on me."
P.S. Now you are all probably wondering if we got to see the gender. Nope, not yet, but we will in 3 weeks... If baby is not being to independent! :)
P.S.S. I almost forgot one thing...I have gained 10 lbs in 3 weeks! Yikes...the nurse said I might want to cut it down on the sweets, however, that didn't stop me from eating 8 oreos last night. For some reason I can't find them today...I think Connel decided to hide them. I guess, I can't blame him, he doesn't want our child addicted to sweets!...I don't mind.
7 comments:
That's not just a silly fear, I have always had that fear with all of my babies. It wasn't until I could feel them moving that I grew out of that fear. I'm praying that this special little baby sticks around, you are going to be such a great mom.
PS Let me know when you're coming back up. Do you know if you'll be in the ward or not? (no pressure)
Get some rest
only 8 Oreo's? I'm ashamed of you! haha... I down 2/3 of the package before Richard looks at me concerned and says..."Ummm.... nevermind!" haha. I'm sorry it's so stressful! The worries really do get to you when you are thinking about something so much more important than yourself.
You are literally living for some new precious life and I HOPE that you continue to be filled with happy surprises, like hiccups, during this fun time. It will all be okay. We love you!
I totally understand you being worried, I was with both of mine...I always seemed to find blogs or stories of babies with heart defects or tumors while I was pregnant and thought it was a way of preparing me for what's gonna happen...both of mine are healthy, you can't and wont ever stop worrying about them even after they are born, their first fever or cough or runny nose will always make you worry a bit. Your gonna make a wonderful mother to this little baby! and I can't for him/her to make their appearance!!!
my last trimester I ate like 3 packages of Chips Ahoy in a month....hey I drank like 5-6 gallons a milk with it
Hiccups are fun...it will be fun when you can feel the baby...probably within the next couple weeks
Connel is going to be the funniest dad. he's so protective of you, just think if you have a girl! We find out the 17th what we're having. I also gained a bit too much in the last month.. But you know what, try your best. Hardly anyone actually fits into that 25-35 total weight gain range.
Yeah..so I remembered that I put the oreos where they were "hidden". HA! oops.
I'm still freaked out the something will happen with our baby. I worry that I'm going to go into labor too early and she'll have problems.
I also had those pains you are talking about. Sometimes they would be stabbing or last all day. It freaked me out a lot. I don't think that the pains down there ever really go away. At least they haven't for me yet. They just keep growing!! ;)
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