why be normal?

Things have gone so well this pregnancy and I have NO room to complain, after all, I AM pregnant and it has been wonderful!  However, when life starts to get normal at all, I have learned to start to wonder what will happen next...

Here is the story, the best that I can explain it.  We went to the doctor a few weeks ago and he ordered a blood test.  Because I am taking 81 mg of baby aspirin (which my previous doc in St. Louis put me on) they wanted to make sure there wasn't anything major before taking me off of the baby aspirin which they usually do in the last month of pregnancy.  Mostly they were screening for chances of blood clotting issues and such.  I went back to the doctor about a week later and they received a fax from the lab which contained information about MTHFR (Methylenetetrahydrofolate reductace) gene mutation and a few other things that I didn't understand completely.

They explained that it was a rare genetic deficiency and that it had to do with elevated homocystiene levels, blood clots, and absorbing folic acid.  Normally pregnant women have elevated homocystiene levels, which puts them/us at a greater risk of blood clotting.  However, with this specific mutations I have even higher homocystiene levels, thus causing an even greater risk for things like thrombosis (blood clots) and arteriosclerosis (hardening of arteries) which can eventually lead to other complications such as heart attack and stroke.  Blah!

Now, before you go and get all freaked out...know this:

 

Everything is going to be just fine, I am doing well and more importantly so is our little girl.  I have no known blood clots so far.  The doctor has been having me come at weekly intervals at this point (which they usually don't start until about the 35/36th week) and my blood pressure has been normal, I have had little to no swelling and no unexplained pain.  Each week they do an Fetal NST (non-stress test).  And so far, she had not been "stressed".  Also, because of my family history none of this information surprised me way to much and I felt that there was no need to worry so much.  (What really intrigued me most was that they also mentioned that this blood clotting could be one of the causes of my many previous miscarriages.  To be brief, the elevated homocystiene levels could have possibly caused the blood behind the placenta to clot or lack of blood flow to the baby, causing miscarriage.)

They mentioned that they would send the new lab information to the perionatologist (high-risk pregnancy doctor) and have him look over it and they told me that I may need to meet with him.

Later on in the week (about a week ago) I got a call from the perionatologist office and they scheduled an appointment for me to meet with him October 21st (yesterday).  After this call, I was actually a little bit nervous, mostly because he is a high-risk doctor.  In my mind, going to a high-risk doctor means that I have a high-risk pregnancy, that there are complications.  Something that just causes me to stress and worry all the more!

So, yesterday morning we got up and headed to the perinatal center for our consultation.  We thought that they were going to do ANOTHER ultrasound (which I don't mind, but we've had a total of 6!), because that is what the receptionist had mentioned might happen.  However, no ultrasound, we just met with the doc.  And, the new news is that I have a rare genetic defect which can lead to complications in pregnancy. 

There is so much medical mumbo jumbo that I can hardly keep up with it.  But, to help myself understand it better I am laying it out in writing.

I have PAI-1 Homozygous 4G/4G allele.

I also have MTHFR mutations C677T/A1298C.

Try to understand that! Ha!

Combined, these two little deficiencies do the following...

I'll try my best to explain it all in basic terms:

The MTHFR gene is responsible to absorbing folate.  And we all know that folate/folic acid is very important during pregnancy and while trying to concieve.  So, because I am deficeint, I have to take extra folic acid on top of my prenatal pills.  Not so painful. :)

Because this deletion of MTHFR, I have extra high levels of homocystiene, and increased risk for blood clots I am now on a blood thinner or anticoagulant known as Lovenox, which I will have to be on from now until about 36 weeks, then I will be on heparin, then Lovenox again until 8 weeks after I give birth.  Lovenox is a bit more painful...it is in injection form---I have to give myself SHOTS--in the stomach!  Gag.  One every day.  I know lots of people out there have to give themselves shots each day for various reasons, however, if you know me, you know that I get really, really woozy around needles.

(Today, I went in and had a nurse from the hospital teach me how to give myself the shot.  What an angel, she had me practice on a towel with some water filled syringes a couple times, then I GAVE MYSELF the shot!  It was quick and painless...until about 30 seconds...then, it BURNED, it felt like someone was pinching me really hard in the love handle and twisting!  However, the 7 or 8 minutes of pain subsided and I am now feeling confident about giving myself an injection each day.  Thanks to the angel nurse!  *I also need to add that my wonderful angel sister gave me a pep talk last night that totally helped me feel like I could do it!*

The PAI-1 is a little more difficult to explain, I am still trying to keep the two separated but I think the truth is that they are related, they are both on the same genes from what I understand.  But it is also related to the blood and thrombosis.  It is also related to metabolism somehow.  What I remember most from what he said is that because of the increase risk of blood clotting, I cannot ever be on a hormonal birth control and I will not be able to take hormonal supplements such as estrogen when the time comes (such as menopause).  And because the blood clotting factor is not enough... It also puts me at a greater risk to have complications in pregnancies... such as miscarraige, stillbirth, preeclampsia/eclampsia, placental abrubtion, intrauterine growth restriction (small babies) and prematurity.  Ya.

Other than ALL of THAT yuckiness...

No changes in my activity or diet, just keep exercising and healthy eating habits...they called me because they WERE supposed to have me have an ultrasound, so today I went in and saw baby Hannah again!  (However, can multiple ultrasounds do damage to baby at all?  Just wondering...) Mostly because I have ultrasound #8 in 2 weeks to make sure baby is still healthy and growing well.  I still go to my regular OB ever week and so between all of it, I feel that I am pretty well taken care of!

The feeling that Connel and I get is that everything is going to be okay, so far my pregnancy has gone extremely well and we have had little to no scares.  We are very very very lucky to have this little sweetie growing (and having a personal party) inside my womb.  She has been right on track in all the ultrasounds and there has not been anything of note to cause concern or alarm before this.

After we left the doctor, I was a little subdued and Connel asked if I was okay, I started to cry because I wasn't.  I was mostly upset because everything was going fine and then this had to happen.  I told him that I just wish that things could be normal for once and that I could have a regular pregnancy just like the a NORMAL woman, no worries about miscarraige and blood clots...just the NORMAL pregnancy woes like back pain and nausea!  I also told him that I just wanted to know that our baby girl would be healthy and safe when she was born and things like this always make me worry!

However, despite this bloody little setback, I have to acknowledge that I do have so many things to be grateful for...

I am so grateful that I have such a supportive and uplifting husband!  Connel has been a real strength to me during any hard time and through this pregnancy he has been no different, always helping me with the normal pregnant things that I can't do like lift and pull and bend.  Giving me backrubs and foot rubs at any request, offering to give me a pedicure (which I have yet to claim, maybe I'll take him up on that this evening!), suffering through my snoring and endless tossing and turning and taking up most of the bed. (I have a funny story about that, BTW!)  And following me from kid sale to kid sale just to carry all the clothes that I have stocked up on for Hannah!  And most of all caring about my feelings and supporting me with uplifting words when things like this happen, whether large or small.

I have felt that the doctors that I have had throughout this pregnancy have been inspired.  My doctor in St. Louis put me on baby aspirin which they do for many pregnant patients to prevent blood clots, but she did this without prior testing, hoping that it would help decrease the chance of miscarriage.  Then, the doctor here was doing the blood screening to make sure there were no issues which would cause complications, and because of his thoroughness, we have been able to hopefully prevent any awful complications.  I have a family history of heart disease and such, but no personal prior medical history of any blood clotting issues.  When the doctor recommended baby aspirin, I thought it to be sort of random, it was also random that they did the blood clot screening here in Ohio... I really feel like Heavenly Father has definitely been intervening in our behalf, medically and otherwise.

And what would I do without my family and friends!  You have rejoiced and cried with us when we finally had a successful pregnancy.  We have received more support than we could have ever asked for during this pregnancy.  You have all given me hope through your well wishes and words of encouragement.  We have been spoiled through two baby showers already and another one coming up!  And most importantly you have given us so much support through your prayers and love!

So I guess, come to think of it...with all the blessings attached, why would I even want to be normal?  Normal is boring!

32/33 weeks.

pI just love being pregnant for so many reasons, one of them is being able to meet people I would have never met before.  Take this experience for example...

The other day, Connel and I were at Costco.  I was minding my own business looking through the children's books when all of the sudden someone grabbed me by the shoulder and whirled me around to face them.  I was sure it was going to be someone I knew (because who else would do something like that?).  But, was surprised to find, well, someone I didn't know...practically squealing in my face, "oh MY GOSH!  When are you DUE?"  Obviously taken by surprise, and with a dumb look on my face I'm sure, I replied, "Um, 8 weeks?"   "Oh, you are going to be sooo happy!  Well anyways, these are my children..." and she continued to name off the 4 or 5 children who were standing near her.  Then she asked me all sorts of questions about what I was planning on doing as far as the hospital I was delivering at and if I was going to breastfeed, etc.  Then gave me advice on all the questions that she had asked me.  At this point I was hoping Connel would come and save me, but as I scanned the warehouse, he was nowhere to be seen.  So, because the conversation was not coming to an end, and I was curious because, well, she looked like she was about as far along as I was, so I asked her, when she was due, just to be nice...  Ya... I know...I regretted it from the moment the words spewed from my mouth.   "Oh, this is just leftovers from 7 children!" she kindly said.  I was mortified, so then it was just silence and so I had to try and change the conversation and it was just so embarrassing!  I have always dreaded that question when I wasn't pregnant and here I was asking her!  I felt like Brain Regan... "I think the rule is, don't guess at that ever, ever, ever, ever, ever...."  So anyway, I guess at that point she decided it was time to end of the conversation and she told me "Well, when the day comes, just remember, YOU CAN DO IT, it is such a natural process, your body knows JUST what to do...don't give up!"

Advice from strangers.  Gotta love it. :)

Anyway, I was glad that she was so jubilant about being a Mother that she introduced me to all of her children and encouraged me despite my awful judgement of her being pregnant, and for giving Connel a good laugh after I finally found him and he later told me, that when he heard the lady start talking to me, he got out of there as soon as he could!  What a guy! :P

Here I am at 32 weeks...

I am 33 weeks tomorrow, which means I have apprx. 5-7 weeks until we finally get to hold this little girl!  Gah!  It's coming so fast!

my mother told me not to.

This is a somewhat random rambling of thoughts that I had this morning...

My Mom's Mother passed away when my Mom was only 14 years old.  I have never been able to imagine what it would have felt like to loose my Mother at such a young age. 

When I was 16 years old, my Mom and I were shopping to find me a swimming suit.  I picked up a two-piece bikini style suit and asked if I could wear one like this.  She, of course told me NO.  I had always wanted to wear a bikini and so I dug up what (I thought) was the best possible leverage to get her to let me get one.   "But Mom, you wore a bikini when you were 16!" I exclaimed. 

Calmly and with the wisdom only a Mother could posses she replied..."Yes, but I didn't have my Mother to tell me not to..."

There were many other times when my Mother told me not to do things that I wanted oh so desperately to do.  Some of them I did, and some of them I didn't.

I was thinking about some of these things this morning.

There was the time in high school that I wanted to ask a guy who I had an ENOURMOUS crush on to a dance, and my Mom told me that she didn't want me to, but to do what I thought was best.  I asked him, and for many reasons, have forever felt a little embarrassed because of it.

There was the time that I wanted to take a trip to meet a guy with whom I had only ever talked on the phone.  My Mother told me she didn't want me to and because of that and a few other reasons, I chose to stay.  Turns out, the week I would have been gone to meet the "phone guy", I went on my first date with Connel.

As I get closer and closer to my due date, I wonder if I will ever get to be as good as my Mother.  I have her to thank for the good things that I have done in my life. 

It's kind of funny that there is so much parenting information right now that tells us not to use the word "No" with our children.  "They" tell us to use positive reinforcement, telling us that it will help our children make better choices by themselves.  It is true, yes, that positive reinforcement is a good tool for helping children become independent and successful.  However, I believe that sometimes, as children, we need a little more "help" with our choices, because we tend to concentrate on the here and now, when our wise parents see what lies ahead in our futures... therefore, I think that there is NOTHING wrong with saying the word "No" every once in a while...

I could have made many more awful choices in my life...

... I am grateful that my Mom was there to tell me not to.

Those are my deep thoughts for the day! :)